But what if?

But what if I never.....

 

Vivian Westwood Bridal Gown, from Rock & Roll Bride (I know none of you thought I would want a white gown, ew.)

I don’t know if it’s my age that makes me so sensitive to this, or if I am living during a real-live cultural shift. Am I surrounded by some sort of collective American panic/realization/conversation/debate about the benefits of marriage/dating?  Article-after-article, conversation-after-conversation I seem to stumble upon some sort of argument for or against marriage in this contemporary climate. And sometimes, when I want to get all worked up for a good old-fashioned panic about my eggs dying or something equally ridiculous, it is usually met with some sort of eye-roll.

What’s happening!? Aren’t I supposed to be panicked? Aren’t all of us post 25 year-olds supposed to be hysterical about the possibility of life with out some man, a blond dog, and a fence? A very close friend of mine recently broke up with her first love. We talked, she was upset, but she recently told me she is thinking of moving to China to push her career, and instead of panic for her uterus, I felt PROUD of her. Inspired.  

That stripped one is MINE (with that hat!), another Vivian Westwood masterpiece. The Statement Piece blog.

Further, to be honest, I have been on a sort of a hiatus since my last long-term relationship, and often worry/wonder if I’ll ever be in something that serious again. I can’t tell if it’s me, if I am going through some sort of warped personal crisis, or if I just really don’t want a guy around like that. I feel like more and more of the people around me are more comfortable with more “tentative” relationships. We are all are cautious, putting more limitations on our potential partners. I seem to have two types of friends, ones who are already married, or ones who seem suspicious. Not worried, suspicious.

Dita von YES! Vivian don't stop! ZIPPERCUT

Its not that I or we, don’t want to tie the knot, but I think it just isn’t turning out how I thought it would. When I think of the loves I have left behind me, I sigh, in relief. Further, I feel really lucky to have so many friends who just refuse to compromise. They want what they want, and even though it may be difficult to find, they would rather put the energy into making single, or dating life more worthwhile, then ending up stuck, with some sort of multi-thousand dollar divorce (cause that’s just messy). I also feel lucky to have smart literature to read. Dating and life advice that tells me to push myself, quit whining, and make things happen. And oddly, I feel like that is what my friends and I are doing with our love lives; we are making it happen, but on our terms.

The only dresses I dream about, they mastermind herself, Lady Vivian Westwood. Image courtesy of Miss Penny Dreadful

I joke with my friends, I say, “The next person to ask me if I regret not getting married yet, opens the door for me to ask if they regret getting married so early.” Its not that I am against the decisions others have made. I’m happy so many close friends and family have found someone to make them happy, but I feel fortunate to live in a period where I can take the time I need to find that right person for me too. 

Terri Trespicio,  photo taken from her blog. 

So yes, this was a bit of a weird personal tangent, but I bring this all up because I feel like this attitude is something that epitomizes TerriTrespicio’s blog, and I wanted to share it with you all. There are so many great topics and awesome advice I didn’t know how to exactly discuss one article. Posts like; How to Get a Guy to Commit (If That's What You Want), Why You Should Date a Man with Baggage, and my personal favorite, Fuck Fate & Date Like a Grown UP. Take some time, and browse through it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. It can be a bit difficult to swallow, but I think ultimately it’s good.